She's also a Person?
by X-Mixer's Strange Library
Summary: It's a given that growing up hurts. It never hurt quite like this though. Or looked like this either. And hadn't Weiss already hit Puberty?
1. Episode 1

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 **Episode 1**

"Uuugh!"

Blake sighed as her hopeless partner moaned again in agony for the fifth time. Careful to keep the blonde's arm around her shoulder, she proceeded to ask, "Remind me: you thought you could beat Nora in a pancake eating contest, why?"

"Never…back down…never surrender…!" Yang croaked her answer as she grappled with her indigestion. One free hand clutched her gut for dear life while the other anchored her to Blake. She knew how lucky she was that the girl loved her as much as she did.

The cat Faunus simply rolled her eyes at the non-response. "Yeah and you may _never_ have a bowel movement again," she quipped only half-playfully. _I seriously think Yang just like's punishing herself. If that's the case, then we're perfect each other._ Things were best taken one day at a time. Though her face remained disappointed, Blake smirked inside.

"I love you," came her girlfriend's syrup coated groan/burp. Her bangs were matted to her forehead with sweat. This bout had made her suffer more than any workout.

"I know. Look, just don't put me in a situation where I have told people my girlfriend ate herself to death."

"I only promise to try."

There was nothing better to respond with other than simple headshake. "Anyway, we're almost there." There dorm room was indeed just around the corner.

As if on cue, the pair heard a familiar cry. "AAAAGGH!" It sounded a lot like Ruby in distress.

Half-lidded purple eyes immediately opened wide as Yang Temporarily forgot her torment. She let got of her beau and broke into a sprint, her big sister mode activated. "RUBY!" She hustled to the door with Blake following close behind.

The poor wooden barrier didn't stand a chance as it against Yang's boot heel. She pushed pass the threshold, ready to stave off her half-sister's attackers with a bloody vengeance.

Bumblebee didn't end up getting that far into the room. There was nothing in the whole of Remnant that could have readied them for what they saw. Ruby was face down on the ground crying and laughing bloody murder. On top of her was-

"Weiss!?" Black and yellow asked in unison as they tilted their heads.

To their credit, it looked like the heiress…If Remnant's wilderness had wiped its ass with her.

'Weiss' looked a bit spindlier and just a smidge taller. She had gained hair in strange places and her nails appeared claw-like. Her ears had become elven-like. The white hair that was usually tied back in a ponytail was now a frazzled mane stained by dirt. Much like its owner's skin. In addition to the scar over her eye, the Schnee had many more marks littering her skin as if she had tried hugging a wolverine over and over. Ill-fitting scraps of pelts were the only thing protecting her otherwise naked body.

As If there weren't enough strokes of weird to paint the scene, 'Weiss' had Ruby pinned facedown. Her clawed feet were straddling her laughing victims head, her knees were in the redhead's shoulder blades, and one hand held one leg on the ground. The other hand gripped Ruby's naked foot (her boot and stocking had been torn off at some point) towards its mouth, so the white creature's long tongue could slather up and down its sole, causing the team leader to helplessly squeal with ticklish delight.

New Weiss finally seem to notice the two newcomers and stopped her administrations to look at them with slit-like wild blue irises. With a deeply tarnished voice, she angrily growled at them.

"Koczek! Koczek! Herma koczek! Min ewe fresto!"

Okay. No one in Remnant spoke any language that sounded anything like that. So, that was checkbox number four.

And just like that…Team RWBY had won a game of weird-shit bingo they had no idea they were playing.

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 **A/N: I…I don't know…I just…I don't know! I invite you to take this journey with me though. Just like always** **?**

 **Read, Fav, Follow, Review! Thanks a million for all that you do!**


	2. Episode 2

**A/N: Please show that you love RWBY by supporting the official release!**

* * *

 **Episode 2**

"Koczek! Koczek! Herma koczek! Min ewe fresto!"

A moment of silence passed. New Weiss realized she wasn't going to get a response other than Bumblebee gawking at her. So, she cackled at them, showing off her needle-like teeth. "Cesca!" She pulled at the bottom of her eye and wagged her long tongue at them.

Yang's pride took over the moment she realized she was being laughed at and remembered Ruby was technically still being attacked. The fiend's laughed turned into pained coughing shriek as she felt the blonde tackle her mid-section.

Blake instantly helped Ruby sit up and looked over her for injuries. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" The redhead rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, her grin ear to ear. It didn't look like she found the experience harrowing at all.

"What happened!?" The cat Faunus gestured to the creature struggling to get out of Yang's leg-lock. "Is that Weiss!?"

Ruby only offered a helplessly worried shrug. "I dunno; she was on top of me as soon as I came back to the room. I'm not sure how long I was being uh…attacked." Her finger itched her brightening cheek.

"Grrraaaagghhh!"

Red and Black looked to their squabbling teammates. Yang had maneuvered the deranged heiress in a full nelson. Blue eyes were bulging past their limits with strain as their owner thrashed desperately to escape. It may have been because she had indigestion not a minute ago, but the brawler was somewhat struggling to keep her in place. This Weiss was apparently stronger than the one they knew. "Haaaggggh!" She screeched in defiance.

"Quit... squirming!" Yang growled with red eyes, furious at how hard she had to try to keep her footing.

"Yang, don't hurt her!" Ruby begged as Blake went to shut their door. It wouldn't help to have someone witness whatever this was. A lot of noise complaint would be in their future regardless. That much was guaranteed.

"She's not giving me much choice!" Weiss would end breaking her own bones if her thrashing kept up.

"Just let her go! She can't leave the room!"

Yang hesitated. She didn't want to hurt the rich girl if it was avoidable. "You had so better actually be Weiss," the blonde muttered before letting go all at once. Her target tumbled to the floor as she let go.

The thing growled as it quickly hopped up onto the closest bed and hunched in on itself. Though it trembled, it sneered at Yang. Pain, fear, and humiliation were evident in in her frost-blue eyes. Unfortunately, no semblance of familiarity was there. Yang scowled harder.

Ruby sat down on the same bed as their guest while Blake stood beside Yang. With New Weiss pouting and scared to move for the moment, they had a better chance of putting things together.

"Okay~" The brunette drawled, almost as lost for words as her teammates. "Can anyone deduce what just happened or why?"

"I pretty much told you what I know already," Ruby said with an apologetic look.

"Not necessarily," Blake tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Where was Weiss when you last saw her?" Any context clues would help.

"In the room studying, right before I left."

"And she seemed fine?"

"I mean she was treating me like a nuisance, so I would say she seemed okay," Ruby confessed as she visibly drooped.

"Damn…" Alright, so things were bleaker than anticipated.

"Well, we need to do something about her," Yang piped up. She hadn't taken her eyes off their guest the entire time. "At the very least, we need to figure out whether or not this is actually Weiss."

"It's Weiss," the redhead of the quartet answered without hesitation and without even looking at the person in question.

"How can you be sure?" Blake countered.

The younger teen's pointer fingers press together as her eyes fell to her lap. Lamely, she muttered, "Woman's intuition…"

"Sure~" Yang drawled with a roll of her eyes. The blush on her baby sister's cheeks was painfully obvious. She made a mental note that if the ice queen returned to normal, she would make Ruby fess up to the heiress about how she really felt. It was long overdue. Just from a side glance, she could tell Blake was hiding amusement in her eyes. "That still doesn't take care of the question of 'What the hell are we gonna do about this?'." She gestured to New Weiss at the end of her statement.

"I think I know somebody who can help," The caped leader declared with one finger raised to the sky.

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"Hmmm…" Nora's tongue traced her lips as she placed the stethoscope on a random Weiss for umpteenth time. Her patient simply sat on the floor chewing the mites out of her thin arm-fur for a quick snack. The ginger suddenly stood up straight as her eyes went wide. "Eureka!" The whole room (RBY and JPR) went silent with anticipation. "Nurse Nora has found the problem!"

"She has turned into a weirdo!"

The feral Schnee tilted her head in confusion along with everyone else. Unlike everyone else, she began to cackle and nod her head rapidly in agreement.

Blake pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, "We knew that already, Nora."

Yang rubbed the back of head. She was disappointed but not surprised. "It was worth a shot, right?"

"Poor Weiss," Ruby bemoaned with her face in her hands.

"Nora," Pyrrha started gently, "I don't think that's a helpful explanation for all of this." Green eyes nervously looked at the filthy girl-beast who seemed terribly fascinated by her own feet. now. It was like she only now realized she had them.

"This is a Free-clinic," Nora reminded them crossly with her arms folded. "I can only do so much."

"This is our dorm," Ren corrected with his usually stoic mask while somehow also eying the fake nurse suspiciously. "Also, please tell me you haven't been giving people your homemade flu shots again." He didn't know if he could get the authorities to look the other way again.

"Ah come on! Thanks to my shots, the students were grateful for how less-sick they felt when they caught the flu anyway!"

"That isn't-" The dark-haired boy stopped, knowing he'd been none the richer for trying discredit his psycho of a friend. "Back to the topic at hand, you three are sure none of you know how she got this way?"

"Yeah, Ren," Ruby huffed impatiently. _Please don't let this be permanent! I couldn't stand to lose her this way._ "We're sure."

"Did you try checking to see if she recognizes any of you?" Jaune offered. He was strangely calm, considering Weiss was also his crush. He seemed to be in strategizing mode.

"It didn't look she did when we came in," Yang answered worriedly. She was over her initial burst of aggression and earnest concern for her haughty, semi-annoying friend had set in.

Putting his best foot forward, Arc presented himself to the transformed girl and barely caught her attention. That much hadn't changed, it seemed. "Hello, Weiss! Do-you-remember-me? I am Jaune Arc! You dislike me in a way that is very hurtful!" Nothing. "Do you know any of us?"

Weiss merely looked around the room with half-lidded eyes and blatant confusion written on her face. "Uh…" After a moment of stalling, she went cross-eyed. A string of drool dribbled from the corner of her mouth and almost achieved the perfect likeness of a vegetable.

"I'm gonna say that's a big 'nope'," the resident lunatic said as she frowned.

Pyrrha pointed out the obvious. "She desperately needs a real doctor!"

"Let's see your _real_ health insurance," RBY all automatically countered as one.

While Ruby and Yang were still technically young enough to be included in their father's health plan, it only covered them so long as they were in Patch. As a recently retired terrorist from Menagerie, Blake was pretty sure she didn't have any kind of coverage in Vale. Getting some hadn't exactly been one of her priorities when she arrived in the Kingdom. All this was included with the fact that, as far as they knew, Weiss' life wasn't in any direct danger. The E.R. likely wouldn't prioritize her highly if at all.

"What about Weiss? Does she have insurance? I mean, if she doesn't, she must at least have credit card stashed away somewhere in your guys' room." The Mistralian deducted smoothly.

Once again, a long silence fell over all.

"That might actually work!" Ruby brightened only to frown again as a new issue came up.

"But how do we get her there…?

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 **A/N: For frame of reference this starts between V1 and V2.**

 **Read, Fav, Follow, Review! Thanks a million for all that you do!**


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